The last few days have been strikingly bittersweet at our house. Our 19 year old, Brittany Ann, took her boxes, clothes and a few of our household items and moved into her own apartment on Sunday.
There were not many tears on Sunday, but as the enemy would have it there were heated words and tears on Friday night. The emotional tension of three women who have been one room away from each other for the last 18 years spewed forth like lava from an erupting volcano. Not even kidding. My husband – the only man in the house, sat in the chair and watched the drama unfold like a spectator at a hockey game.
I must admit – it was more the girls who let loose with angry words and accusation, but as I am learning it is no small thing to get sucked into the moment when emotions are running high.
Friday, my barely grown daughter announced she did not want to spend one more minute in this house and with a screeching tone declared me insufferable. At that point I realized there was no talking to her in this state, and needing her to realize how far beyond the boundaries she had ventured offered: “If that is truly the way you feel then you need to pack up your things and move them out tonight.”
Her shock was mixed with fierce anger, but with a few footstomps down the hall she began to pack up what she would need for two days and left. My husband and I offered the olive branch – we both told her we did not want her to leave that way but felt we had little choice given her attitude and the feelings she expressed. We invited her to take the opportunity to talk this out with us calmly and without all the emotions. She replied, “I don’t know what to say to that.”
I started to fret once she was on her way to a friend’s apartment for the night. But, then something happened. I realized that while this is somewhat painful and difficult – it may be necessary for us to cut the apron strings and for her to finally learn to fly on her own. I prayed for a while, then I reminded the enemy that he is a liar when all sorts of false accusation and worrisome rhetoric began to make it’s way into my head. I reminded him he has no place in our lives because we belong to Christ. I also told him he doesn’t get to tell me something bad is going to happen to her because of this… I slept well that night.
The next morning my heart was full of love for her and hoping to reconnect and recover from the night before. I dropped her sister off at work and went to Wal-Mart to pick up the few items we had talked about she would need. Then I purchased a gift card for her to buy groceries with and called to find out if there was anything else she would need. She said, “I’m sorry.”
She asked me what I was doing and I told her buying the towels and things she needed for her new apartment. She said, “AWWWW… Thank you, Momma.”
I asked, “Do you want to come home?”
She said, “Yes.”
I asked, “Do you want me to come get you?”
She said, “Yes.”
I was relieved and she was more humble. Things felt entirely different in that moment.
She got all moved in on Sunday and now we have a mostly empty room. Devoid of the life and trappings of a teenager in full swing. I’m so excited for her, while praying with great fervor that all works out well as God would plan.
Milestones are hard for me. My Jay never ventured out on his own as an adult. He will always and ever be seventeen as far as this earthly existence goes… But oh the glorious reunion that awaits us as we finally see him HOME in heaven again one day. God’s grace and mercy are such a blessing at times like this. No tears, just a few bittersweet moment to mark our path along the way.
When did our babies grow up? That’s what I asked Scott on Sunday night when we had come home and settled down for the evening. When?
He laughed. “It seems a long time ago.”
It would seem they’ve been doing it all along. I just didn’t realize how much until Sunday.