My sweet friends here at Heart to Heart. I have been away from here too long, but realize that I have some pressing issues with my husband to address in our marriage.
I wish this worked out differently. I am writing about these issues more at my personal blog (BECAUSE I LOVE YOU…) It would seem that as I have sought the Lord in my grief over the death of my son, I’ve abandoned my husband and hurt him in ways I cannot even go into here.
My husband is a good man, and he is hurting. We’ve both hurt each other — some days one more than others but there are offenses on both sides. We are working with God to restore our love, our hearts and our marriage to a place of wholeness, healing and truth. It is going to be a process – and one too painful to recount.
You know there is a saying in ministry, “Hurt(ing) people hurt people.”
I can offer you this. If you are reading this and in the throws of grief over the death of your child or your spouse’s child. Don’t assume whatever you have to do individually to get through the grief is okay. Do your best to dialogue about what you are going through and even if you don’t know how or what you need from the other – express that you need them to be a part of your grief journey rather than shutting them out of it. Our marriage was almost undone because we both needed more of the other but did not communicate that to each other. One Word: Counseling – it may be difficult, ugly and painful, but it is also necessary. (Discovering our Love Languages, [Dr. Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages.”] helped us to begin relating to one another in meaningful ways. It also opened up the doors of communication and sensitivity to one another’s needs in a way we have never been before. )
I’m so sorry I’ve been absent. I will return from time to time to check in and update you. But for now, the ministry of this blog is on standby.
I pray you are well and ask that if you have prayer requests do leave them so I may pray for you as you have need. I love you, God loves you and He is working a new season of healing in my life so I may share it all with you. Blessings and love to all.