My heart is so burdened as I weigh the Scripture for today’s post. I want to go back and pull up the questions that I posted on Monday:
As you consider this verse of Scripture and how it reflects the season of grief you are in, please also consider the following questions:
1.) Do you feel entangled by your grief? If yes, please explain.
2.) Do you have nightmares surrounding your loss that haunt your sleep? If yes, please explain.
3.) Do you feel that grief has laid hold of you and you are consumed by thoughts of death?
4.) Does anything compare to the suffering you are experiencing in the aftermath of your child’s death?
I asked do you feel entangled by your grief, and I want to say that at first I felt so alone and uncertain in my grief that I could barely think. I busied myself, frittered away my days.
I remember moments when driving where death so consumed me that I thought, “If I just hit that tree really fast and really hard I would die, too.” Almost as quickly, I would see my beautiful daughters and my husband and know that this irrational thought would not be a solution – only create more problems and more pains for those I loved the most. But, that irrational thought came from a place deep inside of me that was hurting so badly I could not seem to find resolution even in my most ardent prayers. It was a desparate thought in desparate times. A place where I just needed to stop the hurting going on in my heart, my head and my life.
This Scripture helps me to know that God understands that I hurt this way, that sorrow often leads to thoughts of death. Not that it is okay to entertain those thoughts, but that we can take those thoughts as ugly and devestating as they are to our Lord God and entrust Him with the pain that brings us to them.
This is how sorrow and grief entangle us – becoming a snare rather than a journey. Being stuck in our grief is one of the worst places I have found myself. Unable to really function, unwilling to ask for help… Afraid that one more thing, one more loss, one more painful moment would send me teetering over the edge. But, God doesn’t want us to go through grief alone. He wants us to find Him in our grief and find encouragement and support from others as we go along the way.
The enemy will tell us anything we are willing to believe: “It will never get better.” “God doesn’t care, He let your child die.” “Even if God does care, how do you know He’s there?” “You’d be better off dead, at least it wouldn’t hurt so much.” He will even tell you, “There is no God.”
But we have to shake off the lies of the enemy and stop buying what he’s been selling us. That’s why even one Scripture can be such a benefit to the grieving because God can take that one Scripture and open your heart toward Him with it.
The lies of the enemy are like heavy ropes. The more he wraps you up in them, the harder it is for us to break free. Pretty soon, we cannot even see the light. We are so weary from carrying around the weight of our entanglements that we just want it to end. That is when a wave of grief will wash over us – and in our bound state we won’t even be able to resist the way it washes deeper and deeper into the despair and agony of death. We are soon over our head in deep waters of grief, entangled with the lies and doubts planted in our hearts and we begin to sink. Call on Him. Cry out to Jesus, get involved in a group where the goal is seeking God in your grief, and remember that any entanglement that you are facing can be easily broken by the truth of God’s Word.
Begin to replace the lies of the enemy with the truth of God’s Word. When the enemy calls out “He doesn’t care about your pain.” Call that lie, what it is – A LIE. Rebuke it with the truth, “You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?” Psalm 56:8 (NKJV). God records the things that cause us pain in a remebrance book and stores our tears in a bottle, your suffering is important to God and He has a plan for it.
When the enemy tells you the Lord has abandoned you in your suffering, remind yourself of these beautiful words from in Deuteronomy “6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)
And if you are inclined to claim a New Testament promise, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5 (NIV).
I found that God repeated this promise in this wording 8 times as translated in the NIV.
If you are lacking hope, look up Scriptures with the word hope. If you lack joy, look up and focus on Scriptures that talk about joy. Find a way to knit God’s Word into your heart. There is more to this life than what we live. Ecclesiastes tells us God has created an intuitive nature in us that seeks out eternity (Ecclesiastes 3). Our lives are made up of seasons where emotions and circumstances play their part in pointing us straight to God. We were created for eternity and all of this life is but a breath compared to life in eternity. Do no grow weary in doing good, for you will reap a harvest in God’s appointed time. (Galatians 6).
We cannot give up on one another either. This is why we must find a support environment that will help us work through our grief. Hebrews 10:25-26 tells us that we are not to give up in meeting together, but instead to meet together to encourage one another and all the more as we see the day of Christ approaching. Stand with one another – it is Life Support. When we find a common thread with which to allow God to weave our lives together – we will find hope in the hearts of those around us. We will pray together, unearth truth together, cry together and yes, we will even laugh together as we journey toward meaning and healing in grief.
Salve for our wounded soul:
“Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NKJV)
When we stand with another person in our grief we are a two strand cord, but when we add God to our relationship, we become a cord of three strands that cannot easily be broken. If you are entangled and snared in the depths of your grief – cry out to Jesus and let Him take you by the hand. Then, grab the hand of a grieving friend and you will find your way out of the valley of the shadow of death!
Listen to the following song and think of the power that raised Jesus from the dead, that power is available to you right now. We need Him, we need him to come to our rescue and to hold us when we cry. We need you Jesus!