Marriage Mondays: What I’ve Waited For

I’m a day late to the party, but decided to join in on Valentine’s Day writing a letter to my dear sweet husband. I’ve got a story to tell about waiting on the Lord with my husband. I will be jumping in on Marriage Mondays moving forward! I’d love it if you’d join me, too. Thank you to my friend, Alex at Journey to Beauty who highlighted this wonderful writing meme. And to Amber at The Runamuck for inspiring this very public display of affection. BRAVO!

For My Man,

Patience and a quiet spirit have never come easy for me. I’m an instant gratification girl… If I know you’ve bought me a gift, I want it right away. If I know that something good is coming I’d rather leap to the other side enjoying the benefit and success of it. After thirteen years of marital bliss mingled with some not so marital bliss I think you know enough to know I am hopeful, expectant and want it now!

Still, patience is something God has cultivated in my life for several  years. The waiting game has tested and broken me many times but never so sweetly as it has in my relationship with you.

Today, I walked into my office at work and everyone was aflutter waiting for me to arrive. As I rounded the corner to my desk there on the filing cabinet tucked out of sight sat a dozen beautiful pink roses along with a card and my very favorite White Chocolate, White Chocolate Chip Nothing Bundt Cake.

For the last thirteen years, I have prayed, hoped and given up with a broken heart full of unmet expectations that you would bring me flowers and treats on Valentine’s Day. I’ve asked and hinted and finally demanded before… Well yes, throwing a fit as a realized I may never lay hold of the hope of my heart – that you would express value to me by bringing me gifts or notes of love because you know me well and wish to please me.

But then, God began to change my heart. I remember the day well just a few years ago, my birthday had passed again with not even a hint of a gift coming from you. When I asked you about it you said, “I hadn’t really planned on getting you anything.”

Crushed does not even begin to describe my emotions. I don’t know why I expected more, but I did. So, I prayed. “God help me to see the gift you’ve given me in my husband. Help me see the way he chooses to express his love to me and not the expectations I have of what that should look like.”

I’ve received counsel and rebuke about how I am trying to change you, not appreciating you and considerably angry at you over this very issue. None of that came from you but, all of it rings so honestly true.

GUILTY.

I’ve tried my best to groom you into the romantic sap I imagined you would be in my childhood dreams of fairy tales, daring rescues and lavish love. All the while demeaning and devaluing the warrior spirit that God planted deep inside of you even before the foundation of the world.

A few weeks ago I made my heart’s desire known to you and you responded in love, and overwhelming affection in a way that was beyond what I had asked and imagined. I’ve waited more than thirteen years for today. To have the sweetest gifts delivered to my work before anyone arrived and to experience the love of my husband who knows me so well in such a precious way. I love each of the gifts because they show how well you know me. Still, the sweetest part of today – the thing that brought tears to my eyes – the card.

“I wonder if you know

how proud I am

to be your husband.

If you don’t, you need to.

When I stop to think about it,

It is such an incredible gift.

Of all the guys out there,

God chose me for you.

I’ve been given the privilege

Of walking through life

With someone so beautiful –

So smart, classy and supportive –

So amazing in so many ways.

 

I love you with all my heart,

Sweet Valentine of mine,

And thank God continually

For the blessing you are in my life.

 

I love you

Scott”

 

The Scripture on the inside cover of the card reads: “How fair and how pleasant you are O love, with your delights! Song of Solomon 7:6 NKJV”

Indeed – How fair and pleasant you are O love! My love, my mighty man of God. I value who you are and the way you have always stuck by this impatient, fly-by-night, instant gratification girl. I am so blessed and honored as your wife. I am also humbled by your gift of love today. I can truly say that today — It has been worth the wait.

I love you, Scott Bentham, with all my heart.

So grateful to God that He has given me you!

Always,

Michelle